Meet the Band
by Tireseus
Summary: CHAPTER 2 is up ya'll! The Sound 5 is a rock band. Naruto wins the chance to spend an entire day with them. Yep, every fans dream . . . just a shame he isn’t one.
1. Winner winner chicken dinner

**Title: **Meet the Band

**Rating: **PG-13

**Disclaimer:** Do not own

**By:** Tireseus

**Summary:** The Sound 5 is a rock band. Naruto wins the chance to spend an entire day with them. Yep, every fans dream . . . just a shame he isn't one.

**Warnings:** Crack-scented fic. Light fluff. SasukexNaruto friendship but possibly more if you tilt you're head just right. Also, you _may_ laugh you're guts out. =0

**A Day with the Band**

Naruto was at The Sound Five concert, the so-called "concert of the year." Not because he wanted to be, but because he had been coerced by none other than his best friend – not anymore – Haruno Sakura.

Currently they sat in the nosebleeds, the stage several feet below them. The band was barely visible from here, not that Naruto had any interest in seeing them anyway. Taking a sip from his Rockstar energy drink, Naruto mentally tried to will away the migraine he could feel coming on from the crowd's deafening screams.

"Aren't they the greatest!" Sakura yelled to him after one of the songs came to an end, and the noise died down a bit.

He recoiled from her sudden outburst, and then rolled his eyes. "What? This typical emo, whiny band? I hate 'em," he answered back. But his reply went unheard as the melody for the next song started up and the crowd – including Sakura – screamed louder than ever in anticipation for the song that was about to play.

"This is _Wingless Angel_!" Sakura squealed, squeezing his arm hard enough to bruise, to break bones. "This is MYsong Naruto! Oh my God!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"I thought _Suffocating Silence_ was 'your song.'" Naruto said, wrenching his arm from her iron grip.

Finally, at what felt like an eternity of melodramatic lyrics, strained vocal cords and overly drawn out guitar solos, the last song was over. The band took a bow.

A good-looking man with gravity-defying hair and a mask that covered his left eye and mouth stepped up on stage. "Stay in your seats ladies and gents, we will now announce the winner of the 'Meet the Band' contest!"

The auditorium was instantly silent. Everyone waited with baited breath as the announcer removed a yellow envelope from his breast pocket, made a big show of opening the letter in the slowest most suspense-building (and annoying) way, and then finally lowered his mouth to the microphone and said in his cool, deep voice:

"A30 – "

"A30!? THAT'S ME!!!" screamed Sakura, jumping up from her seat and knocking over the drink of an irritated girl sitting next to her.

The man paid her no mind and continued reading the letter. "A31 congratulations!!!"

Sakura crumpled down in her seat, face flushed from acknowledging her mistake and eyes wide. When she turned and faced Naruto, his eyes were equally as wide.

"Me!?" he said, mortified.

"You!?" she said incredulous. "You don't even like them!"

"Quick," he gripped her shoulders, "we'll switch seats."

However, it was too late. The spotlights were aimed in their direction, blinding them both temporarily and a burly security guard was tugging at Naruto's arm, yanking him out of his chair. "Let's go get your V.I.P pass."

_NO!_ he thought inwardly, as he was dragged down to the stage. _It should be Sakura._

"No!" Sakura shrieked outwardly. "It should be me!! I HATE you Naruto!"

Once Naruto was brought on stage the crowd cheered loudly in applause, and the announcer flung an arm around his shoulders.

"So what's your name, kid?"

He lowered the microphone to young man's face expectantly.

Drawing away slightly, he shoved his hands deep in his pockets. "Izumaki Naruto," he said trying not to sound as unenthusiastic as he felt.

"You must be excited you won, eh Naruto?"

"Ah, sure I guess . . . "

"And what's your favourite song from The Sound Five, Naruto?" he asked shoving the microphone under his nose once more.

Naruto froze. The audience's stares suddenly taking affect on him, piercing him, pinning him where he stood as the sudden realization that all these people would kill to be in his position hit him like a bucket of ice cold water. He figured the least he could do was _pretend_ to like this band, if only so he wouldn't have 5000 people hating him later.

"U-uh – " he started.

"OMG! HE DOESN'T LIKE ANY OF THEM!!" Sakura's voice bellowed from the nosebleeds. "HE HATES THIS BAND! I'M THE ONE THAT LOVES THEM!"

Kakashi gestured at a female bodyguard who began walking toward Sakura, warning her to be quiet or face being kicked out.

"Well?" said Kakashi turning back to him. "You do like this band, don't you? Can't you answer this simple question? Hmm?"

"'Course." _Shut-up stupid man. Are you __**trying**__ to humiliate me._ "'S-Suffocating Silence," he lied. "My favourite Sound 5 song is Suffocating Silence." The very title of such a terrible song tasted bitter on his tongue, and he fought to hold back a cringe.

"Excellent choice!" chirped Kakashi, delighted. "That's my personal favourite too, this kid has good taste."

The crowd clapped and cheered in agreement, and Naruto was promptly ushered off the stage by a bodyguard.

"Wait – where're we going now?" he asked feeling a mixture of panic and confusion.

"To meet the Sound 5," said the burly man who surprisingly enough spoke with a forced lisp. "You're _so_ lucky. I mean, don't tell anyone but I think the lead singer Uchiha Sasuke is so totally lush."

Naruto's ocean blue eyes widened remarkably. "You too!?" he said horrified.

The burly man must have thought Naruto meant that he felt the same way, because he smiled widely and replied, "yep! Ever since I listened to their first single _No Rest for the Broken Hearted_. I practically _died_ when I heard it. When did you get into Sasuke?"

Immediately the blond boy felt his face burn in embarrassment, and raised his hands in defence. "N-never! I don't think of boys that way. I just couldn't believe you're a groupie like everyone else here. Seriously, what's so great about band members?"

The smile evaporated from the bodyguard's face almost at once and Naruto chastised himself for his brutal honesty. It was common knowledge how obsessive and defensive Sound 5 fans were. Had he spoken his true feelings on stage, Naruto was sure the entire stadium would have chased him out of Konoha with pitchforks and kunai. And Grandma Tsunade would have allowed it, probably would have headed the mob . . . because _she_ was a Sound 5 fan too.

They walked in silence until they reached the doors of the lounge room where the band was recuperating after their last performance. The bodyguard rapped on the door. Just when Naruto said 'guess nobody's home' and turned to leave, the bodyguard held fast to his hoodie and yank him back in front of the door just as it was opening . . .

**TBC**

But only if I get enough reviews. Not trying to be a review whore (well, maybe a little ;]) I just want to know if it's worth continuing. So R/R please! Btw I accept and welcome constructive criticism.

p.s. sorry for any grammatical errors, it's late and I'm tired. I'll probably edit this later.


	2. Go Away Naruto!

"**Meet the Band**"  
By _Tireseus + my sis 3__  
Chapter 2: GO AWAY NARUTO!_

**Summary:** The Sound 5 is a rock band. Naruto wins the chance to spend an entire day with them. Yep, every fans dream . . . just a shame he isn't one.

**Warnings:** Crack-scented fic. Light fluff. SasukexNaruto friendship but possibly more if you tilt you're head just right. Also, you _may_ laugh you're guts out. =0

**Disclaimer:** I do not claim ownership of Naruto because if I did, you wouldn't like it. Trust me. =0

A/N: Thank you guys so much for all the support! I'll definitely continue this story. Also, I'm usually a grammar nazi, and rereading my first chapter made me cringe. Errors, errors, everywhere! . I promise never to upload another story past 1:00am again.

-----

_The bodyguard rapped on the door. Just when Naruto said 'guess nobody's home' and turned to leave, the bodyguard held fast to his hoodie and yank him back in front of the door just as it was opening._

A tall, pallid-faced man was staring back at them. He was too skinny, and his smile too wide. Naruto couldn't help but be reminded of a skeleton in a wig.

"Can I help you?" he said, tucking a lock of inky black, bone straight hair behind one ear.

Naruto's eyes drifted from the man's sunken-cheeked face to his mesh black shirt, which hung unenthusiastically from his limbs. His eyes continued to travel down to the man's pants which were leather and much too tight. _Oh god!_ Naruto quickly diverted his gaze back to the man's mesh shirt, where he glimpsed a gold locket hanging from his scrawny neck. But what really caught his attention was a silver-plated pin attached to the see-through top. Engraved in fancy writing were the words: _Orochimaru, Band Manager_.

"This is the winner of your band contest," said the bodyguard, pushing Naruto forward.

Naruto glanced up. The man's strange tawny eyes, covered in eccentric purple makeup, were gleaming.

Instinctively breaking the silence, Naruto stuck out his hand in greeting, "Naruto Uzumaki," he said and tried to smile.

"Orochimaru, Sound Five Band Manager," said the man in a surprisingly high and soft, womanish voice that trembled slightly, and extended his long, thin fingers accepting the greeting.

But while Naruto's handshake was as firm and professional as he could be, Orochimaru's was limp and gentle, and it seemed for him the handshake served as an excuse to caress the boy's hand.

Sharply, Naruto drew back from the unwanted caress like he had just been burned, the uncomfortable feeling lingering on his skin. He shuddered, resisting the urge to wipe his hand on his clothes for politeness' sake.

The corners of Orochimaru's mouth curved in a devious smile that bordered on sinister.

_Whoa, the way he's staring at me reminds me of a child molester, _thought Naruto.

"I'll take him from here," said Orochimaru to the bodyguard, who nodded and walked away. Wretchedly, helplessly, Naruto watched the man's retreating form. Part of him wanted to beg him to stay, or else let him come too, like a child on their first day in kindergarten.

Naruto was brought back from him thoughts when he felt fingers walking along his shoulders, and he was suddenly pulled toward the manager, so closely his hipbone stabbed sharply into Naruto's side.

"C'mon on, Naruto-kun, I'll introduce you to the band," the manager said steering him towards the door.

The blond groaned audibly.

--

Upon entry, the lounge – a massive hotel bar – was _admittedly_ quite impressive. Naruto being Naruto spotted the buffet table first. The chic designer table balanced a huge array of _entrée_s including gourmet ramen noodles (a personal favourite of his), pizza, pastas, beef, poultry and fish (fried, barbequed, and baked to perfection) salads, rice dishes, ice-creams and cakes of all types.

In the middle of the room stood was a centrepiece - a magnificent glass, pink lemonade fountain – an ice sculpture of the band manager clad in only a towel, rose out from the centre of its pink depths.

_Yuck_, thought Naruto turning away from it.

Just beyond the centrepiece was a large entertainment centre with a surround sound system, a plasma television, a karaoke bar, and all three game systems: Nintendo Wii, Xbox 360, and Playstation 3. As Naruto continued to peer around, he found their possessions to be borderline-excessive. Surely a band with only five members didn't need _all _these things.

Currently, the band was spread out all over the lounge. No one really took notice when their band manager entered the room with a blond boy on his arm.

"Guys," he said spoke sweetly. "Hey _guys_."

None of the band members stirred.

"LISTEN TO ME!" he bellowed. All heads snapped sharply in his direction. "That's better. This here's the winner of the contest, Naru-kun," he said pushing Nauto forward.

"Naru-kun?" he inquired quizzically, bemused at where the nickname had come from.

"Oh, do ya mind if I call you that?"

"Er . . . yes, actually . . . "

The band members were walking toward them now.

"Oh Naru-kun!" said Orochimaru excitedly. "Meet Sakon-kun and Uk-kun," he said as a pair of light-haired identical twin brothers approached them.

"Hey," they said in unison.

"Kido-kun, and Jiro-kun," said Orochimaru as a tanned boy in a spiderman shirt, and an overweight scenester approached.

"How goes it?" said Kido-kun.

Jiro-kun flipped his hair, temporarily removing the fringe of red and black bangs from his eyes. "Sup?" he said smoothly.

"And," Orochimaru said dreamily, as a black-haired boy who's name left Sakura's lips over 1 million times a day strolled forward, "Sasuke-kun!"

Sasuke lifted his head in acknowledgement, before announcing, "I'll be in my dressing room," and walking off.

"Whose that?" Naruto couldn't help but ask, as he locked eyes with a scowling red-headed boy garbed in a frumpy band shirt, ripped jeans and a faded baseball cap.

"Tayuya," said Orochimaru dismissively, forgetting to apply an honorific to his name as he did the others. "You guys all make nice now," he said as he turned to leave the lounge room.

Tayuya rolled his eyes and stalked over to the buffet table, grabbing a hot plate. Jiro-kun joined him there moments later, and Naruto took it as an opportunity to grab a bite (or many) as well.

Naruto picked up a hot plate and walked along the buffet, taking care to spoon himself some gourmet beef ramen, along with a slice of pizza and some spicy chicken wings. As he neared the end of the table, he stole over his shoulder a glance at Jiro-kun. Jiro-kun was spooning croutons from the tiny salad plate clutched in his massive arms.

Upon catching Naruto staring he said, "these are _such_ unnecessary calories."

Naruto's eyes trailed down to his plate, which was virtually empty apart from a few leafs of salad. _Who's he kidding!? _

"Oh come on big guy," he said laughingly. "Don't skimp out, grab a pizza."

"**Big** guy?" Jiro-kun repeated affronted. "_What_ are you insinuating?"

Naruto was caught off-guard, realizing he had somehow offended the band member. "It's just . . . I'm sorry, you seemed like the kinda guy who . . ." he swallowed loudly and trailed off, defeated.

Jiro-kun brushed past him, almost knocking the boy off his feet as he stormed away without another word.

Obnoxious laughter erupted less than a minute later, and Naruto turned to see Tayuya, soda in hand, pointing crudely at him.

"Wait till I tell Sakon!"

Cheeks burning in embarrassment, Naruto shuffled past him. He wanted to be as far away from the buffet table as possible. Shortly thereafter, he spotted Kido-kun across the room playing _Call of Duty_ for Xbox. Deciding that videogames would take his mind off things, Naruto approached the gamer currently seated in a red leather recliner chair.

"Which one is that?"

"Call of Duty 4," Kido-kun answered casually, eyes glued to the screen.

"But that didn't even come out yet!"

Kido-kun seemed amused by his excitement. "Wanna play?" he said offering him a vacant controller.

Cerulean eyes lit up. "Do I ever!" Promptly abandoning his plate of food, Naruto grabbed the controller and took a seat next to tanned band member.

"I'm warning you now: I'm pretty good."

"Ok-ay," said Naruto rolling his eyes. "Bet you can't beat me even with **six** arms!"

Just then he noticed a hideous greenish brown spider crawling along the leg pad of his own recliner chair.

"Gross!" he said and smooshed it on his shoe.

"JASPER!!!!!!" cried Kido-kun.

"Who?"

"JASPER! He's on the bottom of your shoe! Lift it up! Lift it up!"

Naruto lifted his shoe, and they stared at the crumpled spider for what felt like eternity.

"Oh man . . . I think he's dead," said Naruto finally.

Kido-kun deadpanned, silent.

Naruto peeled the arachnid remains off the bottom of his shoe and held it up. "Sorry," he shrugged.

Kido-kun's unwavering gaze was becoming unnerving.

"D'you wanna go back to playing Call –

"Leave."

"Are ya serious!? Over a spider!?"

"You'd better leave Kidomaru alone," said Sakon or Uk-kun, he couldn't tell, but dropped the controller anyway and rose to his feet.

"What happened?" asked the red-headed boy.

"He squished Jasper," explained Sakon or Uk-kun.

Instantly, Tayuya doubled over in laughter.

"Holy fuck! I've wanted to do that for weeks! This kid's a riot!" he said thumping Naruto on the back. Naruto felt worse than ever.

"Don't mind Tayuya," said one of the twins, empathically. "She's always this way."

"SHE!?? You mean," he nearly screamed turning to Tayuya. "you're a – a girl!?"

"WHAT THE HELL'D YOU THINK!" she retorted.

"Oh no," said Uk-kun, "now you've done it."

"But the frumpy clothes – "

"Stop!" Uk-kun warned.

" – But the rude mannerisms . . . and you play bass like a guy! – "

A fist suddenly connected with Naruto's gut, knocking the breath out of him and sending him flying back into Sakon, who stumbled backwards into the centrepiece – a lemonade punch fountain – thoroughly drenching his designer jacket and jeans.

Tayuya was still bent on beating the crap out of Naruto. Uk-kun lunged forward trying to restrain her.

"FUCK OFF UKON!"

The next moment he was crumpled on the floor groaning in pain and clutching his family jewels. Tayuya charged at Naruto like an angry bull, fist raised high over her head.

Naruto screamed shielding his eyes, waiting for the inevitable.

Just then Jiro-kun appeared, scooping Tayuya up in one arm with ease.

"Tayuya come and help me pick out some hair colours," he instructed. "I'm dying my hair again tomorrow."

Naruto removed his arms from his eyes in time to see Jiro-kun calmly exiting the room with a furious redhead flailing wildly under his arm.

"Lemme go, _Jirobo_! I'll kill em! I'll kill em!" Tayuya was hollering as she was carried off.

A handsome black-haired boy entered the fray, apparently drawn by all the clamour. His cool dark eyes scanned the room, going from Kido-kun who was helping a furious Sakon out of the punch fountain, to Ukon in agony on the floor, until they finally rested upon Naruto, who was in midst of the chaos.

Face flushed, Naruto opened his mouth to speak, to explain himself only Sasuke-kun beat him to it.

"Do you mind keeping the noise level down?" he snapped sharply, "There I was in my dressing room," he started dramatically, "trying to write lyrics for this totally rad new song and I can't even hear myself think."

"Hey, don't look at me your band mates are psychotic – "

But Sasuke-kun paid him no attention. Spinning sharply on his heel, he glided back to his dressing room before Naruto could even finish his sentence.

Not a moment later, Orochimaru sauntered into the room. "Oh my, my," he said upon seeing the destruction of his lemonade punch fountain. "Oh _**dear**_," he said when he saw a miserable Sakon removing his ruined jacket. "Lordy, Lord," he said when his eyes finally came to rest on Naruto and Ukon who were on the ground. " . . . Well, I think we betta call it a day," he said helping both boys to their feet. "A limo will come round your house tomorra mornin' to pick you up, Naru-kun."

Naruto opened his mouth to explain himself.

"Goodbye Naru-kun!" he sang.

Dejectedly, Naruto left the lounge room.

--

Once Naruto was gone Orochimaru gathered up all the bandmates in Sasuke's dressing room.

"So guys," he started. "Whaddaya think of the contest winner?"

"He implied that I was overweight," said Jirobu.

"He **smooshed **my friend," said Kidomaru.

"He called me a boy!!" said Tayuya.

"He ruined my clothes," said Sakon.

"I'm probably infertile," complained Ukon.

"And what about _**you**_Sasuke-kun," the band manager asked running his fingers delicately through his hair.

Instinctively, Sasuke flinched away. "Me?" he repeated, "I didn't like him_ at all_."

--

The guard perked up when he saw the blond contest winner walking down the hallway, "Oooooo!!" he squealed, "How was Sasuke?"

Naruto passed him wordlessly. Sakura was waiting for him outside the Konoha Centre and immediately ambushed him.

"What did you think of them?" she asked excitedly, seemingly forgetting that she was supposed to hate him. "How were they? HOW WAS SASUKE?"

He shoved his hands in his pockets, and kicked a loose rock in the gravel, then turned to her. "I didn't like them at all! And I have to see them again tomorrow!"

**TBC**

*in Orochimaru's ghostly voice* _Hope ya'll enjoyed this.~_

"Smoosh" is now a word. It means to _squish, squash, or flatten a spider_.

Examples:

_Yesterday I smooshed a spider._

_Immo smoosh dat spider._

R/R! XD


End file.
